There was a time, a little while ago when I first got
diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Many of my friends and even some of my
family to this day did not know of the struggles that I had (and often still
have to this day) and some did not or do not even know of my diagnosis either!
I struggled hard though! I am talking; constantly feeling run down, sluggish,
tired, un-motivated, bored, fed up, ill and much more. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
is often a misunderstood illness as it is invisible to others, in that others
cannot see your headaches, nausea, chronic tiredness, pain and so on. I was
actually sleeping for sometimes 15 hours in a day and still not feeling
refreshed when I woke up!
I knew something had to be done. I had countless trips to
the local hospital where I received some amazing support and advice, which I
took away with me and still use to this day. I had gone from having 4 jobs,
down to just 1 and even now I work less hours than most people would. Some may
say that I should work more hours, some may say that I should work less. The
hospital said I shouldn’t work at all! But no, if there is one thing that I am,
that is determined. I would fight to recover my body and fight to recover my
mind I thought to myself. Some days my biggest achievement was getting out of
bed, other days my biggest achievement was getting less than 12 hours sleep and
still being able to function adequately enough to make it through the day. My
concentration was poor, I would struggle to keep my eyes open, socialising
became more and more infrequent and I was lucky if I made it through work or
seeing friends and family without yawning every 5 minutes.
Slowly, with the help of the hospital, I started to
re-prioritise things in my life. “Say no to more” was a quote used by the
hospital. I had kept a diary of my life after I had gotten ill and been
diagnosed with CFS, which was to keep track of where my time was spent. I was a
busy, busy girl let’s put it that way! At first, I did not understand what “say
no to more” actually meant and why it would help me with my illness but I was
burning the candle at both ends (and more!) So I started to say no to more.
Less setting myself impossible goals with unrealistic time frames to achieve
them in, less socialising by limiting how often I saw friends or family and trying
to meet up with more people together at the same time rather than seeing
individuals on their own on several different nights, doing several different
things. All of these things were
draining. Having 4 jobs was also a massive no-no, believe me if you pick money
over health, you have the wrong mind set, as you will eventually make yourself
ill anyway and spend money on prescriptions, health care & vitamins!
Balance keeps the body in harmony. You will know as an individual whether you
are doing too much so it is best to evaluate your life if you do feel stressed,
run down or exhausted.
Anyway, what happened to me was that I did eventually learn
to stop sleeping for 15 hours a day you will be pleased to learn. I got my life
back on track. I felt able to concentrate better, able to work at my job
without feeling overwhelmed, able to get out of bed in the mornings and I am a
lot better nowadays. Although I still have CFS and it probably won’t ever
completely go away (I still have my good days and my bad days) things are
looking a lot better for me. Now though, all this has made me realise I have
achieved so much. Simple things that would have meant nothing to your normal
everyday person were big accomplishments to me but it made me appreciate my
life a lot more and I really do thank my lucky stars when I wake up without a
headache or other more severe and daunting symptoms.
For this reason, I decided to start writing. I realised when
I was suffering hard with my illness that I may not ever be able to work (I had
certainly been advised by many doctors and health professionals not to work at
all) and just claim disability benefits. But I do not see CFS as a disability.
I see it as an opportunity. My brainwave came when I realised I could write
when I wanted despite having an illness. Some days, as I said, I could not get
myself out of bed or I would sleep through my alarm clock. Other days I had
moments of ‘can do’ attitude and creative thinking. So that is why I decided to
start blogging. I want to prove to others that you can overcome illness
(whether mental, physical or invisible to others). Do what you can to make
yourself happy. Be proud of the smallest accomplishments. I would like to be a
published author and I see this as a long term goal as I would like to do it as
a career so CFS was my motivation to start this blog and follow my dreams on my
path to my future writing career.
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